I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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