So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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