I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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