You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
