i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
