can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
