New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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