Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
