Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
