Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
