I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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