I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
