guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
