If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
