I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
