its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
