This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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