loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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