considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
