She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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