So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
