the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
