Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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