the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
operation have a gay friend backfired
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
