so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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