Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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