Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
