Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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