hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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