My first STD was from a foam party
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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