Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
