We won't sleep together?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
