Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
