he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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