Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
