is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
