i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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