ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
