I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
