I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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