I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
