My friends, they love my intelligence
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
