He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
