it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
