Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
