the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
