what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
barbara walters just said penis...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
