i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
