So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
