ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
